1/24-2/3

My apologies for not posting last Sunday. I know I promised a weekly update, but last Sunday was what we might call “stressful.” Anyhow, I have time to write today, so I am, and you’re just going to have to settle for that. So there!

My last post ended with a descent into slumber at the end of my second Saturday in Europe. As you will recall, we got back from a long-weekend trip to Berlin on that Saturday. As the sun rose on Sunday I was asleep. I slept until eleven or so, woke up, and managed to make it downstairs and onto the couch where I took a nap. Waking up about noon I felt mildly refreshed, and decided I was up to something fairly strenuous. I settled on playing Zelda. Around two the other people started to stagger down the stairs. Like normal people who sleep into the afternoon, we were hungry upon waking. Drew, having previous knowledge of a Podunk Kebab shack down the street, encouraged us to seek sustenance there. Straining with effort I managed to get dressed. We walked to 500 or so feet to the shack, went inside, and were greeted by an enthusiastic Turkish man with no grasp of English. So, the sign language began. After communicating the manner of Kebab I wanted, I stood to the side and waited for it to cook. You may be wandering, of course, about the nature of a Kebab. A Kebab is some combination of meat having been roasted on spit, shaved off and mixed with sauces and/or cabbage, and then placed either on a sandwich or wrapped in a tortilla. I, hating leaves, refused cabbage but did get plenty of sauce. I also got lamb meat. Along with this meal I purchased a 1.5 liter of cola. The total cost was only 5 euros! Friends, this meal lasted me two meals and cost very little! This is probably the most exciting thing I’ve come across in my trip so far. We have visited this place so often that the man now recognizes us, makes our orders from memory, and gives us free cookies. I’m not sure I can contain my excitement!!!!!! This place is AMAZING.

Sunday evening we went to church at the same place as the week before, returned to the apartment, did German homework, and went to sleep. Nothing particularly exciting happened on Monday or Tuesday, but Wednesday morning five of us departed for London while the other three headed off to Barcelona. This was the first travel break of the semester. The five of us (me, Drew, Jacqueline, Kyle, and Laura) left the apartments at about nine. We took the tram to the train station where we got breakfast as we waited for 9:55 a.m. to occur. At 9:55 a.m. we boarded a bus headed to the airport, I mean run-down air shack, at Altenburg. Altenburg is a city about an hour south of Leipzig and it has the distinction of being a place that Ryanair, the airline we were flying, actually flies out of. After arriving we checked in, went through “security” and waited for our flight to depart.

You should know some things about Ryanair. First, and foremost, their goal is to make money. I know I know, all businesses are in business in order to make money, but Ryanair has no inhibitions about their intent. They don’t pretend to care about their customers, they make no pretense about charging you for everything, and they couldn’t care less about your comfort. Examples include the following: You may not check a bag, any bag, unless you pay. You may carry on one item only. This one item has to be half the size that normal airlines allow, and if you want to take a purse or a laptop, it must be stowed in that one carry-on. Your carry-on may weigh up to 22 pounds, but in reality it must be lighter because the dimensions are so small. You do not have assigned seats, so it is a first-come-first-serve basis that you find your seats. I have no proof of this, but I bet that Ryanair regularly sells more tickets than they have seats for just so you have to pay a fee to change to the next flight. Once you take your seat, and I’m using seat here as a fairly broad term, you must compress your body into the three square feet you are provided for your flight. Of course the seats are not adjustable. Does the pilot welcome you on board? Nope, flight attendants immediately spread through the cabin handing out magazines from which you can by anything from food and drinks to perfume and jewelry. Perhaps the most ridiculous thing sold on the flight were little packets, like ketchup packets, each containing a shot of your favorite liquor. Seriously, who’s that desperate? Are there complementary drinks? Nope, but you might want to pay four euros for a small cup of water. The flight attendants never sit down. Instead, they walk up and down the aisle constantly trying to sell you stuff. There is also an annoying recording that plays throughout the course of the trip offering to sell you a “juicy cola.” Towards the end of the flight, after the black market of random goods has shut down, the selling of lottery tickets for a car begin.

After we landed and we finally managed to leave the circus show, we wandered through the airport until we got to customs. I think customs officers like to spend time messing with people. I got though just fine, but Kyle was stopped and questioned for a while about the nature of his business in the UK. I guess tourism isn’t a good enough reason? We next caught a bus from the airport (Stansted) to the center of London. We were dropped off on Liverpool street and found ourselves in a huge press of people completely lost. “Do not be afraid!”, I declared, “we are in a land where the common tongue is English.” Our goal was to make it to St. Paul’s Youth Hostel near St. Paul’s Cathedral. We went into a restaurant and asked for directions and we were laughed at. Apparently it would be far too long a distance to walk and should, instead, take the tube (underground). We made it into the Liverpool street tube station, purchased tickets that would enable us to get to St. Paul’s, and eventually found the hostel. That evening we went out and got dinner (fish and chips) and went to bed early.

The next morning Drew and I got up, made it to the TKTS booth and purchased tickets for a 7:30 p.m. showing of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof starring James Earl Jones and Phylicia Rashad. We then met up with the rest of the group for a walking tour of Westminster. Our tour guide was a Canadian expatriate who had advanced degrees in history and knew everything about everything we saw. The tour started at Wellington Arch, which is an archway that was put up to commemorate the Duke of Wellington on his defeat of Napoleon at the battle of Waterloo. Some interesting facts we learned include the fact that for several years the train from Paris terminated at Waterloo st. at 6:15 p.m. which, in European 24-hour time, is 18:15. 1815 is also the year that Napoleon was defeated at Waterloo.

We then proceeded to Buckingham where we saw the changing of the guard (not that exciting), learned about the political controversy surrounding the continued existence of a royal family (I’m a royalist), heard a story about an drunk Irish man who broke into the Queen’s bedchamber and had a conversation with her (pretty cool), and learned how Buckingham palace was originally the house of a duke, but since it was grander than the current royal palace (St. James) one of the Kings decided it should be his palace (good call). We then saw the palace of St. James (the old royal residence where H.R.H Charles lives now with his two sons. We then made it out to Trafalgar square where we learned how the mayor got rid of all the pigeons by feeding them contraceptives.  We saw Downing street (we couldn’t walk down it because the wonderful Margaret Thatcher fenced it off back in the 80’s. We then made it to Westminster Abbey. Now this was an IMPRESSIVE building. The story goes something like this. Edward the confessor was invited by the pope to come to Rome on a pilgrimage. He woke up on the morning he was going to go and decided that the trip would take too long, and so he stayed at home. The pope told him he better come to Rome or he would be excommunicated. Edward said “please let me do something else”, and the pope said “fine, if you build the most awesome church ever and dedicate it to St. Peter, then I’ll let you off the hook.” Edward agreed, and he built Westminster Abbey. It was finished a few months before he died and he was buried in it. Since then, most English monarchs have been buried there and all of them have been crowned inside it. Edward built onto a Benedictine Monastery that was established in 960 and the building in its current state was begun by Henry III in 1245. Next to the Abbey is a church called St. Margaret’s. It was built by the aristocracy so that the poor people could have their own place to go to church.

Across from the Abbey is the palace of Parliament. It, like the Abbey, is of Gothic design. Our final stop on the tour was the place where Guy Fox and his compatriots were drawn and quartered. After the tour we went to lunch at a restaurant called the Texas Embassy. It had real Tex-Mex/Texas Barbecue food. We then went back to the hostel and got ready for the show. Drew and I made it to the theater and saw the play. It was amazing. Afterward we rushed out and got in line near the stage door and waited on the cast to come out. After waiting awhile, James Earl Jones came out. He got in the back of a car and rolled down the window and started signing people’s programs. He was very nice, but all I kept thinking about was Mufasa and Darth Vader. Drew even got into a discussion about ACU theater. After he left we waited for Phylicia Rashad, and she finally came out. She was very sweet and told us that we shouldn’t be standing out in the cold and the rain. Afterwards we went back to the hostel and slept.

I think I will take this moment to talk about what I would like to call “British Confusion.” This confusion is heavily related to British insistence on driving on the wrong side of the road. I think I could deal with that if they did everything on the left side, but no, a lot of stuff is focused on the right side. For instance, you are supposed to drive on the left side, but you read left to right. Also, you walk on the right side when you are underground. In fact, there are signs insisting that you walk on the right side. You also walk on the right when you go up and down the escalators, but going up and down stairs or walking out on the sidewalk you are supposed to walk on the left side. And then, of course, there were those times when all rules and regulations were suspended. This, unfortunately, was most of the time. On any street that was strictly pedestrian, chaos reigned. But the biggest chaos I have ever encountered, including the Berlin train station, was trying to get on or off the subway after 5:30 p.m. I learned very quickly that I just needed to shove my way onto the train and worry about the consequences later. Plus, the doors opened and closed automatically which meant that, sooner or later, someone was going to get a limb cut off.

We awoke Friday morning, purchased tickets for Les Mis, ate lunch, and then we decided to go see Avatar. Now, I know, I’m in London and I should probably see awesome London things, but I hadn’t seen Avatar and this was a place I could see it in English. That evening we saw Les Mis, and it was the greatest production I have ever seen. It was even better than when I saw Les Mis on Broadway. I cried a few times during the production and left feeling the most edified that I have ever felt. That night we went back to the hostel, hung out for awhile in the common area, and then went to bed. On Saturday we checked out of the hostel, went to Abbey road to see where the Beatles used to hang out, and then went off to do our own thing. I ended up getting lunch and then heading back to Westminster Abbey where I went to evensong, which is basically a worship and prayer service. They wouldn’t let me take pictures of the inside, but it had to be the most beautiful building I have ever been in. I saw poet’s corner where a number of greater writers are buried, I saw the memorials for numerous monarchs, and then I attended the service. The service was very High Church Anglican with all the prayers being sung. The choir that sang was also very beautiful. Unlike most Cathedrals that are open and airy, this felt like I was underground in some vast and beautiful subterranean cave. It felt very old, like it was over 1,000 years old, which of course it is. After this I went to the Globe theater, a recreation of Shakespeare’s open-air theater, but arrived just after tours were closing. I did take some pictures though. I also enjoyed a pretty awesome view of the Thames.

We all met back at the hostel at 6, except for Drew (he was watching another play), and got dinner at a nearby Italian place. We then went to King’s Cross where we took pictures at platform nine and three-quarters and then we went back to the hostel to wait for Drew. Now, you may be wondering why it is we checked out of the hostel if we weren’t going back to Germany until the next day. Well, rated double for Saturday night, and so we decided to stay out all night. Phase one of our plan: go to a midnight movie. So, we all (except Drew, he never showed up) went to see a movie. The girls saw that George Clooney movie, but Kyle and I saw Avatar again. It was just that good. After the movie we planned to go back to the hostel, but we discovered the underground didn’t run after midnight. So, our plan was to catch a cab. Um, that is way harder than it looks. We finally just started walking in the direction of the hostel (we got directions from a policeman) and along the way we saw a cabby drop a few people off and we managed to convince him to take us to the hostel. When we arrived (now 2:45 a.m. or so) we found Drew asleep on the couch in the common room. We debated how to get back to Liverpool street (we had tickets for a bus back to the airport at 5:10 a.m, but we were hoping to catch the 3:50 a.m. bus). We finally settled on a cab, called one to the hostel, and took a short ride to Liverpool street.

We got out, finally found the bus stop, and discovered that there was no way we were going to be able to take an earlier bus because they were fully booked, and ended up waiting for an hour and a half at a McDonald’s. It being about 3:30 a.m., the place is naturally packed with drunks who have the munchies. One of these esteemed gentlemen kept shouting stuff at us, so Drew, a rather large man, got up to ask him what his problem was. His response was hilarious. He said, pointing at his right eye, “I’ve already been punched here, so if you are going to punch me, please do so here,” pointing at his left eye. We all started laughing and he went away. Well, we made it out to our bus, made it to the airport, and went through security. However, the flight was scheduled to leave at 7:10 and we were running rather late. It was 6:55 when the nice security lady decided that Jacqueline’s makeup didn’t pose a threat. We flat out ran to our terminal, barely made it on the plane, and finally settled in for the same rigmarole we had on the flight to London. We landed in Altenburg, got harassed by customs as usual, and made it onto the bus to Leipzig. I think we all fell asleep for the bus ride back. We got to the train station, took our tram back to the apartments, and while everyone else took naps, I did all the homework I hadn’t done because I was in London.

This week has been interesting for a few reasons. First, it is the first full week of German, which means we have really been kicking it up a notch. I can now construct basic sentences on my own and have been able to make myself generally understood among the locals. Second, we have a new German teacher. Apparently they want us to have a variety of instructors, and so yesterday we said goodbye to Frau Smars forever and said hello to Susanne. Susanne is easier to deal with because she will explain things in English if we need clarification. Third, this is the first week where we don’t have trip planned for the weekend. I am actually going to be able to relax a bit from travel. Well, that’s about it.

Love Y’all,

Greg

1/18-1/23

Greetings. My last post ended with me going to sleep on Sunday night. Since then, I have engaged in many delightful adventures. On Monday we had our first classes. The first class of the day was German. At 8:30 AM we departed the apartments, hopped on a tram, connected to another tram, and then got off at the Nordplatz (North Plaza) stop. We walked about 2 minutes to the building where our class was, met the director of the institution where we were taking classes, and then we were introduced to Frau (Ms.) Smars. Frau Smars is a nice German lady who, though she is fluent in English, doesn’t find it necessary to communicate to us in English while teaching us German. On the first day of class I learned my ABC’s, and I even learned an ABC rap! After German class we returned to the apartments and had classes in the various flats. Monday evening is family night, as we are calling it here, and so we had a time of worship and discussion, dinner, and then we watched a film about Berlin.

Tuesday and Wednesday were much the same. I got up, went to class, came back to the apartment, did homework, and went to sleep. As part of our International Studies class, we have to do 20 hours of community service. I have been assigned to the Ronald McDonald house here in Leipzig. We toured it on Wednesday, and it is awesome. The house serves as a free of charge place for parents whose kids are in the hospital. A volunteer staff does all the housekeeping and another staff cooks dinner for the parents. I am going to be doing house cleaning on Wednesdays, and two evenings sometime in the semester we will cook for the parents. In fact, the director of the house asked us to do a Texas Barbecue. Talk about STOKED! On Wednesday we also got a tour of the University of Leipzig’s library main branch. This building is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! I have lots of pictures of it up on Facebook. We also got Library cards, which means I can use the library whenever I feel like it. Also on Wednesday (busy day) we had dinner with our German Mentors, which was awesome.

On Thursday we went to German class and I saw the increasingly militant Frau Smars for the last time until the next week. After class we went to the train station so that we could catch a train to Berlin for the weekend. Sounds simple, right? But no, the train was late. The lateness, for some unknown reason, prompted Ron to go get coffee. While he was gone, the train showed up. Janine told us all to get on the train. As we were getting on the train, the doors closed. Trey and I were still on the platform. We knocked on the doors in vain, but the conductor looked at us and seemed to say, “you poor fools, perhaps if you were not idiotic Americans, you would have known that you should force your way onto the train without thought to order or politeness.” At any rate, the train left and Ron showed back up with coffee. He then discovered that he had all the tickets, which meant that the seven people who did make it onto the train were stowaways. But the miracle of technology and Ron’s persuaisive abilities came to our rescue. Ron managed to communicate via cell phone to Janine the numbers on the tickets, which seemed to be enough to satisfy the conductor on the train. Ron next turned his gaze on the ticket booth. Ordering Trey and I to go into a nearby coffee shop, he went forward to do battle. He appeared twenty minutes later holding tickets for the next train to Berlin. He had even convinced the lady at the ticket counter not to charge for additional tickets. Sweet!

We got on the train, had a restful ride to Berlin, got off in the train Station, and stepped into the biggest press of people I have ever seen. Talk about crowded! I guess the conductor who had looked at us so piteously was right, if we did not learn how to watch out only for ourselves, we would end up like Mufasa, trampled by a heard of gazelle, or was it wilder beasts?. It was in the Berlin train station that I learned one very valuable lesson, when going somewhere with Ron Morgan, you must learn to walk extremely quickly. Used to a more leisurely pace, I got off the train and started looking around for signs that would point us to where we wanted to go. I then looked around me, and saw that Ron had jumped through a time and space matrix to a point across the train station. Flying into super mode, I charged after him and spent the next twenty minutes keeping the back of his head in sight. Eventually, after a couple of transfers on the Berlin Underground, we made it to the stop nearest our Hostel.

Our Hostel was run by a man who needs to be shot in every joint with a gun point blank. He was loud, obnoxious, and unbelievably prejudiced against students. I swear, he had to be drunk and high and insane. This was not just a one time thing; it was constant. He spent 45 minutes telling us where our rooms were and how to use a key, it’s like he thought we were clever chimpanzees who, though we had learned basic sign language and share 97% of our DNA with humans, were nevertheless incapable of anything but mimicking human interaction. The other thing about this man is that he was absolutely convinced that every college student comes to Berlin in order to get blindly drunk and stoned. He spent large chunks of time telling us where the nearest bars were and where we could find pot. Every time any of us would leave he would loudly demand to know whether we were going out to get drunk. He always laughed knowingly with us when we would deny his accusations. Another oddity about this man was that once he discovered that we were from Texas, he became convinced that Drew was related to Bush. He never referred to any of us by our names, but he certainly called Drew “Mr. Bush.”

Thursday evening we took a bus through the city and viewed the sights. We stopped off at the Reichstag, which is the seat of the German Parliament. We went in and took an audio tour of the city by walking around the circular ceiling and looking out on the city. It was pretty neat. I was able to see the Brandenburg Gate, the red tower (where the mayor chills), a rebuilt Jewish Synagogue, a number of embassies, the allied victory tower, and a bunch of other ancient buildings. Afterward we were freezing and starving (it was ten degrees in Berlin), and so we went to this German restaurant and all had Schnitzel. We made it back to the hostel, yelled at the insane man that we’re not drunk and have no intention of getting drunk, and went up to bed.

Friday we got up, had breakfast, avoided the liverwurst, and headed out to Museum Island. It was way too cold to do anything outside, so we hung out in museums all day. The first place we visited was the Berlin Cathedral. This Cathedral was built in the late 1800’s, but it was built in the tradition of the Baroque period. It was built at the order of the Prussian King in order to glorify the royal family. The Prussian kings are buried in the church and the lectern is in the shape of an eagle, the sign of Prussian Royalty. I took lots of pictures, so check them out on facebook in the album entitled “Berlin.” We also visited the antiquities museum and saw lots of Roman, Persian, and Egyptian stuff. Nefertiti herself was there, which is pretty cool. I also have lots of pictures of this museum as well. The final museum we went to was the German Democratic Republic museum. The GDR was the government that existed for 45 years in East Germany post WWII. It was pretty lousy, but then again, the GDR was pretty lousy. We went and got dinner, hung out for awhile, and then went to sleep.

Saturday we woke up, told the man to shut up and leave us alone, and then went to the German History museum where we spent 4 and a half hours. This Museum is amazing. It details, and I mean details, the history of the Germans from the pre-Roman era til 1994. I could have easily spent another few days in the museum. We left Berlin at 5:07, but it was a close call. Once more Ron made a mistake. He had forgotten that our metro passes had expired, and so we had to spend time buying new ones. But, thanks to my own efforts (I spotted the platform we needed to be at), we made it with five minutes to spare. We arrived back in Leipzig yesterday, got dinner, and then came back to the apartments. Then I slept.

Peace guys,

Greg

1/15-1/17

I believe my last post ended with me sitting on a bus on the way to Leipzig. Well, we made it to Leipzig and into the apartments. We got the internet set up and sat around on our computers catching up with the virtual world. I only spent about 40 hours away from the internet, but I had a bajillion emails and 5,000 facebook notifications. I think people are too connected with each other and should just chill out. Oh well, I then unpacked and went to bed.

We got up the next morning and had a meeting with each other and our professors. We were then informed that we would be making a trip to the center of the city in order to meet those people who had prepared a welcome for us. Apparently some agency for intercultural interactions decided that we needed friends while in Leipzig, so they provided five college students, who attend school in Leipzig, to be our friends. It was actually really cool and we talked for several hours. After we left we came back to the apartments and everyone went to go eat except me.  I decided to stay home and feel lonely and I also typed the first blog entry.

We woke up the next morning, Saturday, and once more met up with our new German friends. Ron Morgan, one of the professors, went with us, and when we met up with the Germans, abandoned us. We walked around the city and basically had an informal tour. We saw Thomas Kirche (St. Thomas Church) where Bach was the Cantor for several years. Apparently the musical hub back in the day was in near by Dresden, but the merchant class in Leipzig wanted to legitify (probably not a word) itself, so they invited Bach from Dresden and paid him oodles of money. We also saw Nickolas Kirche (St. Nicholas Church) which was a rallying point for anti-communist sentiment in 1989 just before the wall fell. Another cool place we went was a basement that was Goethe’s inspiration for a scene from Faust. I can understand why, it was extremely creepy. The town itself is absolutely beautiful. I, unfortunately, forgot my camera on Saturday, and so i don’t have any pictures of the town. But, I will take pictures either tomorrow or Wednesday and will be sure to put them up.

After sightseeing with our German compatriots we went and got dinner with them. I had some sort of yummy potato pasta cheese yumz called gnoikii gorgonzolla. It was super yummy. We then managed to catch the tram by ourselves back to the apartments where, once again, everyone but me went out. This time, though, it was because I was on Skype with my mama. Sunday morning I went to Church with Ron and Janine and some others. We went to Leipzig English Church, which is an evangelical Anglican Church in Leipzig. It was pretty chill contemporary style with music and preaching, but then they started the liturgy of the Eucharist. I didn’t know the Anglican liturgy, but I do know the Catholic one, and so I was able to follow along well. When it was time to receive communion, we went forward by sections and the Priest gave us the bread one by one with the words “Remember the Body of Christ.” The Deacon went around with the wine and gave us each a sip with the words “Remember the Blood of Christ.” I really really enjoyed the service.

I spent the rest of Sunday playing Zelda and taking a nap, and then I went with Janine to the home of local missionaries. I’m not real sure why there are missionaries in Germany (there are plenty of churches, let them do the evangelizing or assist them in doing the evangelizing), but they were nice enough. We had dinner and then I came back to the apartment. We all hung out in the apartment last night and played Mario, and then we went to bed.

Well, that’s the weekend. I’m probably going to update twice a week, but I’m not ruling out reducing that to once a week. I’m also probably going to stop giving a play by play of my life and just hit the highlights. I will also provide pictures soon.

Much love,

Greg

The First Day

Greetings everyone! I am writing this inaugural entry for my travel blog while I am on a bus somewhere between Frankfurt and Leipzig.

Travel is Hell. We left Abilene at 10:50 AM Central Standard Time. The bus ride was relatively uneventful. The eight of us going to Germany claimed our seats in the middle of the bus and proceeded to speculate about this place we would eventually make it to. We covered topics like food (where will we get Mexican), cold (we’re from Texas), language (none of us speak German), and future travel plans (I’m still working on that). We took the first photographs of the journey and consumed the first gummy bears. We made the first jokes and took the first naps. Around 1:00 PM CST we arrived at DFW and hurried forward in order to wait for thirty minutes to check our baggage. Now, I’m not exactly a patient person, and so I resorted to jokes I found to be hilarious but others found to be disturbing. I leaned over to Jacquline, one of my fellow travelers, and asked in a loud whisper, “I hope they don’t find my bomb!” She laughed, but everyone else hissed at me to stop. Did I want to get arrested? Party poopers. The line finally started moving and I quieted down except for the occasional petulant question demanding to know if we were there yet.

Arriving at the baggage counter I was told by the American woman working for British Airways that the line was so slow because “the Brits don’t understand understand technology. They make us work with this crap” gesturing to her computer. Giving neither approval of her words nor judgment of them, I politely asked how much I would need to pay for my obese bag; it weighed 22 pounds over the limit, which is to say that it was 73 pounds. After paying the fee, I wandered over to security where I was ordered to explain the presence of an entire suitcase of books. I explained that they were textbooks for classes I would be taking this semester. The TSA officer clearly thought I was nuts, but seemed to decide that the books posed no dangers. Finally, we made it into the airport proper only to be confronted with the knowledge that the flight would be departing two hours late. This news did not, however, phase me one bit. I was well equipped with two more episodes of 24 season 7 and a $9 dinner voucher, spent on a Monte Christo at Bennigans.

At 6:45 PM CST we boarded the plane. I was duly impressed with first class, I was mildly approving of 2nd class, and defiantly cheerful about coach. To make the “can of sardines” impression even more real, I was placed in the middle between fellow Study Abroader Kyle Anderson and an elderly lady on my right who made sure I had everything I needed out of my carry-on. After soothing her motherly instincts (she declared that once a mother always a mother), pre-departure conversation yielded the fact that she was on a trip to Nairobi for an African safari. This peeked my interest because she had to be at least sixty, but she was going for three weeks by herself. We took off, by ears popped, and dinner was nasty. After throwing dinner away, I succumbed to a sleeping pill given to me earlier by Drew Stuart and woke up seven hours later as breakfast was being served one hour before we landed. The pilot came on and said something in a thick cockney accent and the seat belt sighn came on, and I was having my first view of London as we landed. We touched down at 10:15 AM London time, which is 4:15 AM CST. We got off the plane and rushed to our connection only to discover that our connection had left twenty minutes previous; it was to the ticket counter we went.

I’ll save you the boring details of the line except for two interesting anecdotes. First, I loudly declared my hunger and Rachel Brown, the Study Abroad coordinator, responded with dried mango strips. I decided it was mango jerkey and ate it. The hunger was restrained for a time. The second anecdote is that Rachel successfully convinced British Airways to give us each a 5 pound food voucher. We got our new tickets (the flight would be at 2:20 PM London time or 7:20 AM CST. I got Starbucks, read a book, and waited for the plane. We boarded and had a short flight to Frankfurt. On the flight, a British flight attendant offered me a choice between “sweet” or “savory” snacks. I chose savory, which is just the British version of salty. It was mixed nuts and seeds. Arrival in Frankfurt precipitated the long anticipated adventure through immigration and customs. Told to expect anything, I proceeded with caution. The customs officer glanced at my passport and then I was through. I was astounded that that was all, but I guess they figured the UK had taken all of our acids and poisons (expressly forbidden by the British on their flights.)

After that, we met up with Ron Morgan, the director of ACU Study Abroad in Leipzig, and Stephen Shewmaker, who originally scoped out Leipzig as a potential place for ACU Study Abroad. We loaded up in a charter bus, driven by a man who speaks only German, while none of us, including Stephen and Ron, speak German. We stopped briefly for food at a truck stop where I ate pork Schnitzel, Bratwurst, and sweet red cabbage (it was actually good). Then we loaded up and headed out. The bus ride is a total of four hours. As I complete this entry in my journal 2 hours and fifteen minutes have passed. It is now 9:28 PM German Standard Time and 2:28 PM CST. I will post this on Friday the fifteenth and will likely post again before the weekend is out.

God bless,

Greg

I give you now this blessing: Philippians 1:3-11

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my…[travels in Germany and the rest of Europe]…and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

Obama, Language, and Constructed Meaning

This is the final essay I wrote for my Literary Criticism class with Dr. Rankin last semester. I thought I should share it.

People use words to convey meaning (what a fantastic observation). That is what I am doing right now. I am typing words onto a page in an attempt to convey a certain meaning. My only hope for success is if I believe that you generally perceive meaning in words the way that I do. If you do not; if, for whatever reason, when you see the phrase “people use words” you believe that the meaning is: “bacon cheeseburgers are delicious,” then communication is impossible. I do not need you to understand exactly what I understand when I use words, but I need you to get the gist of it. Undoubtedly there will be some give and take in meaning. For instance, you may get to decide which people use words, which words people use, how often they use words, what their accent is, which language they are using, etc… Perhaps I was thinking that English people use English words, or perhaps I was thinking (and this indeed is what I was thinking) that all people in the world who make use of language use words to convey meaning. In any event, the speaker must construct meaning and the hearer must interpret meaning. I intend to discuss the last section of Obama’s “Yes we can” speech.  I intend to talk about both the structure and the constructed meaning of the speech. Of course, I have no ability to examine the speech from anything but my own perspective. So, I am examining structure and constructed meaning in a speech given by someone else according to my own perspective. I do not even know what to call that. I do not know if it is a structuralist approach or a reader response approach. I am pretty sure it is not a homo erotic approach. I am really bad at categorizing things. Whatever. You decide which school of thought my analysis fits into. For me, I am just going to analyze the speech from a perspective concerned with how I understand meaning and structure.

The place where I am beginning in Obama’s speech is where he stops talking about the campaign in explicit terms and says, “We know the battle ahead will be long.” I am working not from a recording of the speech directly, but from a transcript of it. The first paragraph sets the tone for the rest of this section of the speech. First, it sets up the context of the struggle being engaged in. The campaign is not just a campaign to win the Democratic nomination and then the White House, the campaign is a battle, a war. Obama uses rhetoric such as “battle, obstacles, withstand, and power” as a metaphor for war. The next task Obama has is to set up the sides in this brewing and violent conflict. Those teams are “us” and, as explained in the next paragraph “a chorus of cynics.” There are the people on our team, undoubtedly the people Obama is speaking too, but also the “millions calling for change” and as we will discover in the rest of the speech, the entire nation. This theme of “us” or “we” is carefully cultivated by Obama throughout the speech and brought to fruition right at the end. After defining the teams in the conflict, Obama is left with the task of defining what weapons will be used to wage the war. This is most obviously revealed as “voices”/words/conversation/discourse/talking. The first paragraph can be summed up like this: We (the nation/those who want change) will win this difficult battle against those who are cynical and say we can’t do it by using our voices to demand change. The translation: use your political voice (the ballot) and elect me President, and we will succeed.

The next paragraph, as mentioned earlier, defines the enemy. There is an interesting contradiction in the enemy’s description. She is a chorus (singing in unison) of cynics who will create dissonance (singing in disarray/creating a cacophony). This interesting contradiction creates the image of a united group of people working to sow discord among the vast majority of people who want good things. Note the method of war that the enemy chooses to use to wage war: they have both asked and warned the opposing team to stop. They use words as weapons, just like the “us” team does. The weapons of this metaphorical battle are words and language. The weapons are conversations and discourse. What goal does the enemy wish to prevent the Obama team from accomplishing? They wish to stop the spread of hope. This makes sense because the enemy is cynical. That is the true distinction between “us” and “them”: we have hope and they do not. They are cynical and we are hopeful.

This dichotomy becomes even clearer in the transition from the second to the third paragraphs. At the end of the second paragraph the cynics wish to stop a “false hope” from being spread, but in the beginning of the third paragraph Obama points out the bankruptcy of a cynical view of the world. That is, it allows hope to ever be false. Obama contends that hope is never false; hope is always true. It is in the beginning of the third paragraph that Obama begins to define more strictly who the “us” team is. The “us” team is America at large. He cites the history of America, the land of opportunity, as the justification why hope is never false. Perhaps in other places hope is false, but here in America hope is always true. Obama begins to compare the current political status with the story of America in the past. With this comparison, he is able to claim the success of the nation in the past as hope for success now. If the second paragraph outlined the attacks being made against the “us” team right now, that is, being asked to stop spreading a false hope, then the third paragraph discusses the obstacles faced by America in the past, and these obstacles are worse than what the “us” team is undergoing now. They were told (again, the weapons of this war are words) that they “were not ready,” that they “shouldn’t try,” and that they “can’t.” The obstacles progress in difficulty. The procession from not being ready, to trying is risky, to not having the means to carry it out, mirrors the warning Obama gives about things only getting worse as time goes on. The rest of the third paragraph is devoted to explaining how these obstacles are overcome. They are overcome by “Americans” who speak (the weapon of this war) with the power of “generations” a “simple creed.” Obama implies in the description of creed as “simple” that the creed is uniquely American, and therefore privy to the unique hope that is never false in America. The connotation of simple in reference to a creed, something which is the codification or systematization of belief and therefore complicated, is that, like the American values of freedom and justice and equality, the American creed is uncomplicated. It is the simple statement of unswerving faith in the ability of Americans to accomplish whatever they set their mind to. “Yes we can.” The implication is the “us” team also makes this simple statement of unswerving faith in the American ability to accomplish anything, then it to will prevail over the cynics and naysayers who lurk in the shadows waiting for an opportunity to take away hope.

The next four paragraphs back up the statements that Obama just made concerning the obstacles overcome by past generations of Americans through the “simple creed” of “Yes we can.” He begins with the founding of the nation, which also occurred through the use of words, this time written, not spoken, into the founding documents. What founded America was not a war, but a document. A declaration of our freedom and independence. A declaration of “Yes we can.” Moreover, the unique hope that America seems to possess is explained through a sense of American “destiny.” This is a throwback to the ideas of a manifest destiny for the Unites States. A people of such hope and unswerving faith in themselves would undoubtedly be able to succeed. The implication is that this same sense of destiny awaits us now.

The next paragraph deals with the story of the abolition of slavery. Slavery was ended because abolitionists and slaves whispered (used words) to transmit the message of “Yes we can.” This “simple creed” was like a flame through the night. The other implication of this discussion of slavery is twofold. First, Obama is going to discuss the Civil Rights Movement later in reference to Dr. King. Second, Obama himself is Black. If he wins the presidency, if we repeat the creed whispered a hundred and fifty years ago and elect him president, then there will be true fulfillment of the “generations’” before us unswerving faith in American ability to get things done

The next paragraph addresses the creed in reference to immigrants. The immigrants were pulled in by our unique hope even from their own shores; they were grafted into the destiny of America. Moreover, the immigrants also waged war against their own obstacles through the use of words, this time through singing the creed. “Yes we can” was set to music.

The final paragraph detailing the story of America explains how the various disenfranchised groups received the vote, and so were able to use their voices not just physically to say “Yes we can,” but also politically. This line of thought implies that Obama is now asking people to do the same: to not only speak with their mouths that “they can,” but also to use their political voice to make that happen as well. The workers were organized and so had a voice, the women grabbed political power with the ballot, the president looked beyond the Earth even to expand the unique destiny of a hopeful people even to the moon, and the hopes of an oppressed people, yet the most hopeful, the ones who most fervently whispered “yes we can,” were fulfilled when Dr. King gained for them political equality. The sentence describing Dr. King’s success is the best crafted in the whole speech. It bears repeating verbatim: “and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.” The King mentioned here is not royalty so much as a name, but he is like Moses in that he lead his people to the Promised Land, yet was prevented from entering it himself. His death, it is implied, functioned as a catalyst to launch entry to the Promised Land. Strongly implied here, though I doubt Obama would admit it, is that Obama will be the Joshua. He will be the one to actually lead people into the Promised Land of true equality, of hope, of change, of true fulfillment of the creed “Yes we can.”

This interpretation seems to be affirmed in the next paragraph which lists the values articulated in the stories Obama just told. Values like justice, equality, opportunity, prosperity, and healing are the fruit of the labors previously done and will be the fruit of electing Obama president and declaring “Yes we can.” The phrase “Yes we can” is repeated four times in this short paragraph. The interweaving of the phrase with the various virtues and values, rather than at the tail end of the stories like it is in the preceding four paragraphs implies that success is imminent. Finally, after all of this waiting, the Promised Land is here.

The final paragraph of the speech begins with a look at the future with use of the word “tomorrow.” This paragraph sums up all that the rest of the speech attempted to explain, that though we struggle, and though we have obstacles, we are all one people who, if we cling to hope and the “simple creed,” will succeed in overcoming and moving on to bigger and greater things. Obama points out a number of specific people in specific locations throughout the nation as a way to show both the unity of the nation and the unity of those who hope, which are really one in the same. For it is here, in this paragraph, that Obama finally fully defines who is on the “us” team. The “us” team is made up of all those in the nation who have hope, who work hard, who desire a better future, and who long for the day when we, as a nation, will fully overcome. Obama explicitly states that we “are not as divided as our politics suggest; that we are one people; we are one nation” and that as this one people and nation we will, like the “generations” before us will proclaim, in the words of the old song, “from sea to shining sea” that “Yes we can!” The ultimate point of the speech is that we are no different than those who came before us. That, like them, we face obstacles to making a better life for ourselves and our children, but through belief in our own ability, through repeating the mantra “Yes we can,” through working hard, and through, as a result, electing Obama president, we will overcome.

After writing the essay, I feel like I used a mixture of deconstruction, structuralism, and reader response theory. I think this is actually a good thing. Reducing interpretation of a text to one school of thought, while perhaps useful at learning more about that school, seems less helpful at getting at the meat of a text and ultimately impossible. Anyway, words mean stuff. Obama meant some stuff when he gave this speech. This essay is what I think the stuff he said (and didn’t say) meant.

http://www.culturekitchen.com/liza/blog/text_barack_obamas_speech_in_new_hampshire

My Best Friends On This Earth

Often we try
To live on our own
Sometimes we cry
Because we’re alone
Sometimes we sigh
As we sit and we moan
We’ve a home made of lies
And hearts made of stone

A stone cold heart
Is not easily thawed
‘Cause we refuse to part
With the strictest of laws
A law which imparts
This chieftest of flaws:
Tat life lived apart
From support is for all

This lie that we’ve told
Ourselves again and again
Away from us holds
Our dearest of friends
Independent and Bold
With a big false grin
Turns out we’re in the cold
Our heart freezing within

I’ve discovered this fact
In nineteen meager years:
That often I act
Out of misguided fear
That reaction is wack
Proved by the tear
Shed When my heart cracked
As they gathered near

My best friends on this earth
Surround me with heat
We talk and converse
We preach in the street
We explode with mirth
We leap from our seats
As we sing verse after verse
Proclaiming God’s feats

Often we try
To live on our own
Sometimes we cry
Because we’re alone
Sometimes we sigh
As we sit and we moan
Reject those damned lies!
Break that heart of stone!

Lord, there is a storm

I am before you

Isolated in this storm

I approach you with love

Alone, despairingly alone

Where are you? I seek you

The lightning flashes

Save me from this terror

The thunder booms. The wind roars.

I see you. I see your light.

Driven to my knees

Crawling toward you

Tossed among the angry waves

Both hands raised

Foam fills my mouth

Grasping at your feet

Sinking below the turmoil

Save me Oh God

I cannot save myself

In this turmoil I am alone

But for your steady hand

Reach in. Grab me

Raise me from the grave

Lift me above the storm

Above the chaos

Hold me and call me son

Let me hold your hand

Let me rest in your lap

Let me sleep next to you

For, Lord, there is a storm

It rages outside

And there are monsters

They creep and snarl

Defend me from them

Protect your son

Love me. Dote on me

Banish the night away

Lord my God

I want only you

You and you alone

To your glory

Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on the earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail but you are the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I will cry and I will demand

Waters flow and seasons change.

The wind blows and animals range.

Birds migrate and fish swim.

Flowers pollinate and the sun grows dim.

Spread across an expansive meadow,

A bubbly brook meanders.

Stretching across a limitless sky,

A shooting star wanders.

In one location and then the next,

All people, animals, and things.

For there is high tide and there is low tide,

And ‘round the sun earth rings.

People shift and people change.

That is the nature of existence.

But I will cry and I will demand,

And I will give life my resistance.

Are we now leaving

This place I have called home

This place I have lived?

Is it now time to depart

This place I have laughed

This place I have cried?

How do you capture this place

In a single song, a single picture,

A single poem, a single photo?

Can you take a snapshot

And say that the picture has

Captured the essence of a place?

I will not try to capture our time,

Nor will I reject it as paltry.

I will talk and converse;

Discuss and discourse.

Talk to me and you will hear

A tale of laughing and crying.

Speak with me and you will know

That another tale is just beginning.

My Baptismal Confession

I confess that there is one God united in substance yet distinct in person. I believe in the Father almighty, the first person of the trinity. He is the creator of all things, whether in heaven or on earth, and whether visible or invisible. I believe in Jesus Christ, the second person of the trinity. He is the only begotten son of the Father. God from God. Light from light. True God from True God. By him all things were created. He is fully God and fully man. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the third person of the trinity. He is the Lord and giver of life. He proceeds from the Father and the Son. He is to be worshiped together with the Father and the Son. These three are co-equal and co-eternal.

I confess that God is Holy, Perfect, True, and Just. I believe that God has revealed those things consistent with his nature (what is right) and has revealed those things diametrically opposed to his nature (what is wrong) through the general revelation to all men by the gift of a conscience and through nature, and through the special revelation given as the Law to Moses which is ultimately fulfilled in Jesus Christ. I believe that all men “are without excuse” (Romans 1:20) for their sin because of God’s revelation of right and wrong. I believe that all sin seeks to supplant the sovereignty and authority of God because sin places the self above God. The different “sins” are merely different attempts to gratify the self at God’s expense. I believe that God, because He is just, must punish sin with the penalty of death. For God to forgive our sin, without exacting due recompense for that sin, would be for God to not give us what we are due, which would be unjust.

I confess my own sinfulness and depravity. “I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me” (Psalm 51:5). I believe that I, and all humans, possess from conception a sin-nature, that is, a tendency to sin. This is because I, and all people, am of Adam’s seed. For “sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned” (Romans 5:12). I believe that, despite my sin-nature, I am, nevertheless, restrained from utter depravity by the common grace of God. I could commit worse sin more often, but God, in his divine providence, has restrained me, and all men, from utterly embracing evil. I believe that, while I have been prevented from utter depravity, I am, nevertheless, in full possession of a sin-nature. I have sinned repeatedly against a Holy and Just God. I merit eternal death and all the torments of hell, which is nothing but the wrath of God poured out for all time.

I confess my need for a savior. I believe that I am unable, by my own merits, works, will power, or affects to save myself from my own sin and the natural consequence of that sin, the wrath of Almighty God. I believe that, given the choice right now between a carnal existence and God, I would choose a carnal existence, because my very nature is sinful, and I am therefore unable to, on the power of my own will, choose God. I believe that whatever desire I have to love and serve God is solely the result of having been made in His image. I believe that I am like a drowning man who is able to mentally assent to his desire to be safe and secure on dry land, but is totally incapable of swimming and thus incapable, no matter the level of exertion, of saving himself.

I confess that, though I merit the full measure of the wrath of God for my sin, Jesus Christ substitutes Himself for me and thereby propitiates God’s wrath. I believe that Jesus came down from heaven, was made incarnate of the Virgin Mary by the power of the Holy Spirit. Though he was made man, He was also fully God. He lived on the earth as a man, having set aside any claim to His divinity, and worked wondrous signs and miracles not by His divine nature, but by his full and total dependence on the Holy Spirit. I believe that Jesus Christ lived a completely sinless life, in that He did not sin though sins of commission or sins of omission. In every way, He was subservient to the will of His Father. I believe that Jesus was tempted in every way that carnal men are tempted, and so can sympathize with us in our weakness. I believe that Jesus Christ willingly gave himself over to the Jewish authorities and to the Romans. He was flogged, beaten, mocked, and spit on. He suffered under Pontius Pilate. He was nailed to a Roman cross between two thieves. Despite the obvious pain and horror of such an experience, I believe that Jesus Christ suffered no more in terms of physical pain than did those martyred for the faith, such as Peter who was crucified upside down, or the hundreds of thousands of criminals flogged and crucified by Rome. The physical suffering and pain experienced by Christ serves as a great example to us as to what may be required in service to the Father, but contains no saving power. However, I truly believe with all of my heart and soul, and this is the crux of the gospel of Jesus Christ, that God the Father picked up the knife that Abraham dropped, and where Abraham was prevented from sacrificing his son, the Father ruthlessly slaughtered his own Son. As the prophet says, “It was God’s good pleasure to crush Him.” I believe that God “made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21). I believe that God imputed our sin to Christ so that the fullness of God’s wrath was poured out on Christ against our sin such that God the Father forsook His Son and turned his back on Him, and I believe that the sinless life led by Christ was taken and imputed to us, so that His sinless life is now credited to our account. I believe that, because God accepts Christ as the payment for my sin, God declares me to be righteous.

I confess that God raised Jesus Christ from the dead, for to do otherwise would be to admit the power of sin, death, and Satan. I believe that Jesus Christ died, was buried, descended into hell, and rose from the dead on the third day.  I believe that in the resurrection of Jesus Christ, Satan is impotent, death has no sting, and sin has no victory. I believe that Christ being resurrected shows us that we too will be resurrected should we die to our old selves, be buried with Christ, and be raised again. I believe that Christ ascended into glory and sits at the right hand of His Father. I believe that He will return to judge the living and the dead, and on that day His kingdom will have no end.

I confess that in this baptism I am both symbolizing and making a public declaration of an inner reality. The inner reality is that I have been saved from sin and death by the grace of God shown at Christ’s death in my place through faith in Jesus Christ. I believe that God has saved me through His gift of faith, and that the true marks of that saving faith is regeneration. I believe that at the moment of salvation, the Holy Spirit took up residence in my body to guide, direct, and gift me for God’s kingdom. I believe that throughout the rest of my life God will be completing the work He began in me the moment I had faith, and that through His power alone, and through no work of my own, I will be made perfect. I believe that at the moment of faith God declares in the present a future reality, that is, that I am a perfect person, and when Christ returns, His promise to me will be completely fulfilled, and I will live with Him forever, praising Him forever, in a resurrected body. May the Lord Jesus Christ return soon.

But Christ Will Remain

Beyond perception. What is this fascination with the ineffable? What is this motivation to cast you as unknowable? In my heart I scream to proclaim Your Truth. I am not fooled and I will not be shaken. The LORD is my light, and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? I will penetrate this font of human knowledge. I will master. I will understand. I will find you there. I will capture every idea and bring it under your control. Indeed, LORD, you are present in every human thought for we are your image bearers, but I will not be convinced to sacrifice the fullness of revealed Truth for some view of your interaction with humanity that places you as the center of the gem and all human perspectives as facets of that gem. Such a view puts too much emphasis on the human ability to seek and find you, and too little on your ability to and desire to reveal yourself. While maintaining that you are ineffable from any single perspective, such a view maintains that I can grasp some of you by my own effort. Additionally, such a view maintains (in order to insure your greatness I’m sure) that you have not been sufficiently revealed to anyone. That view is a LIE! I am utterly incapable of finding you unless you run out to meet me, and such is your desire for relationship with me that you don’t just text me now and again to see how I am, but you, in your fullness, embrace me and hold me. Such is your sovereignty.

In Jesus Christ alone is the fullness of yourself revealed to mankind. In Jesus Christ alone is faith capable of being the manifestation of Grace. In Christ alone is my hope found, is my salvation secured, is Truth revealed, and is eternal life lived. It is in He, and no other. I refuse to sacrifice that knowable love for some paltry cafeteria style Truth which tells me, despite my best attempt, all I will gain is the tiniest piece of you. Yes, tiny grains of Truth exist in ideas and philosophies and ideas that are not Christ, but only because, in some small way, they point to Christ. Yes, Truth is manifest in obvious and small ways in the wrtitings of non-believers, but only because, as image-bearers, grains of Truth, that is, knowledge of right and wrong, a desire for justice, a passion for beauty, are placed within their minds and hearts by a God transcendent and at the same time knowable. I will seek. I will search. I will discover. I will know all that there is to know about human thought, and all of it will pass away, but Christ will remain, for He is in all and through all. The LORD of Hosts be Praised!

Christ is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.  And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. (Collossians 1:15-20)

John Donne is super awesome

Right now I am sitting in my dorm room. Now, I know, that is a pretty boring place to be, but there is freedom here. I haven’t showered yet this morning. I am still only in my underwear. Best of all, however, is the fact that I have access to all sorts of free food and drink. I am currently jamming to Eisley’s album “Room Noises.” It is excellent.

In my British Literature class we read the above poem, “Holy Sonnet 14” by John Donne. It is fast becoming my favorite poem ever, which is saying quite a lot. What I really wanted to do here is go through the poem and explain just how awesome and amazing it is. I am afraid that I am about to get fairly technical with the poem, so if such things bore you, you might want to move on to bigger and better things.

Here is the text of the poem:

Batter my heart, three-person’d God ; for you
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp’d town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth’d unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

The poem begins with a command addressed to none other than all three persons of the trinity. This, in itself, is interesting. He is ordering God to do something. It is not a request, it is a demand. I think this betrays, and we will discover this later in the poem, the need that Donne has to submit to God. If Donne is giving God a command, then something is wrong. Donne is not fully submitted to God’s will. The nature of this command is also of note. He orders God to batter his heart. He emphasizes that all that God does currently is knock, breathe, and shine on his heart in an effort to mend it. Now, these three actions correspond to the three persons of the trinity. God the Father knocks on his heart. God the Spirit, the breath of life, breathes on his heart. God the Son, light of the world, shines on his heart. Note that these actions are done by God in an effort to mend that which is torn or broken that is, Donne’s heart. In Donne’s mind, however, these gentle actions of knocking, breathing, and shining are not sufficient to accomplish the end goal that is, Donne’s full and complete submission to God. The next two lines explain what God must do to make Donne submit to God. God the Father must break the door down rather than merely knocking on it. God the Spirit must blow away the barriers around his heart, rather than merely breathing on them. God the Son must burn and scorch Donne’s heart, not merely shine on it. The end goal of these three violent acts as compared to the end goal of the three gentle acts is a destruction and then reconstruction of Donne’s heart. Donne doesn’t want God to just fix him; he wants God to make him new, to re-create him.

The next two lines use the metaphor of a captured town to describe Donne’s relationship to God. Donne is described as a town, though created by God, which has been taken captive by an enemy. Not only has the enemy taken the town captive, but the town has pledged its allegiance to the usurper. Donne says that he is working as hard as he can to let God into his town/heart, but he is completely unsuccessful by his own efforts. It is going to take God coming in with his battering ram or perhaps God burning the town’s defenses to the ground in order for God to come inside. The next two lines state that the ability to reason or to think rationally is not man’s greatest asset; indeed reason is “weak or untrue.” In the time when this was written it was argued, and philosophers argue this today as well, that it is the ability to think is what separates us from animals. It is this ability to reason which allows us to be moral agents. Donne concludes that reason, the supposed awesome gift from God, indeed God’s “viceroy” in man, is also made captive by the usurper.

Donne goes on to state that, despite the current situation of his captivity to sin/Satan, he still loves God and desires that God love him. Donne next uses the metaphor of marriage and unfaithfulness to describe his relationship to God. He states that he is “betrothed unto your enemy” IE: Satan or sin, and so unless someone comes in to break up the marriage, he is going to end up married to Satan or sin. Again we have Donne’s appeal to violence. He wants God to break or destroy the marriage knot which has been tied that is, the knot which has tied him to Satan or sin.

Finally, in the last three lines of the poem, Donne makes use of two paradoxes. The first is that to be truly free, he needs God to imprison and enthrall him. He will never be free of the sinful desires of his heart, he will never be free from Satan, he will never be free from this world, etc…unless God puts him in prison that is, if God imprisons Donne inside of God. The other paradox reaches back to the marriage metaphor. It states that Donne will never be chaste, which not only means free from sin in the general theme of this poem but takes on another meaning because he is a priest, unless God ravishes him. The word ravish is best translated rape. Unless God forces himself inside of Donne, unless God rapes Donne’s heart, then Donne will never be pure and chaste. He will never be white as snow.

Now, I hope you see why I love this poem. I love it because it is so descriptive of me and all the rest of humanity, just as much as it describes Donne. My constant prayer is that I submit my will to God’s. I pray that he overwhelms me and forces himself into my heart using his battering ram to knock down my door, using his breath to flatten my soldiers, and uses his fire to burn all of my defenses to the ground. We are children in rebellion and we will never willingly choose to submit to him, all that we can pray and hope for is that he forces us to submit to him.

Thoughts on Christ and Politics

Lately I have been engaging people in conversation about politics, government, and an appropriate Christian response. This conversation has many avenues. There was the  “deep dish philosophy” evening with Dr. McCracken where he led a discussion about the ethics of patriotism. Dr. Shaun Casey, President-Elect Obama’s top religion adviser, was on campus a few weeks ago and he led a discussion among a few honors students. My bible class is reading Jesus for President, a book written by Shane Claiborne, in which the idea of melding Christianity with government in any way is questioned. I want to begin this entry with a quote from Claiborne’s book.

Maybe it’s time for Christians all over the world to lay down the flags of their nations and together raise the banner of God. The Christian icon is not the Stars and Stripes but a cross-flag, and its emblem is not a donkey, an elephant, or an eagle but a slaughtered lamb.

I think that is a fairly extreme view, and I am not so sure I agree with it completely. I agree with the general idea, that God ought to be lifted higher than the nations. I believe whole heartedly that to him is my first, last, and only allegiance. But, and this is where I think this view goes too far, it excludes, from among the possible courses of action, working through our nations to accomplish what is right and true. I do not think it is impossible or even unlikely that God would use the nations to do his will. I agree that I do not owe any nation my allegiance, but I do believe that I cannot simply cast down the United States flag. Romans 13:1-7 reads:

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God’s servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God’s servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

I have a duty to submit to whatever governing authority I find myself under (we can have the debates about obeying the Nazis some other time). This means that I cannot simply ignore my country, but it does mean that in my obedience to its laws, in my submission to the governing authorities, in my paying taxes, and in my honoring those in authority I glorify God. Finally, and this has little to do with the discussion at hand but I wanted to mention it, the emblem that Claiborne advocates be on the Christian flag is the emblem of a slaughtered lamb. This seems wrong. Our emblem should be Christ raised triumphant over the cross and the grave, not a lamb whose strength and will have been slaughtered. My God is victorious, not fallen. He is risen, not slain. He has overcome and so shall we through him.

Next, and this is where the ethics of patriotism come in, I wish to discuss the permissibility of Christians working to further the interests of America, especially as pursuing those interests detrimentally affects other people. I want to begin this section talking about Christ’s interpretation of Torah. Their are two sources for the following material. The first is an eight hour lecture given by Dr. Ray Vander Laan at Focus on the Family, before Focus started getting nasty. You can check out his website at www.followtherabbi.com. The second is the Jewish New Testament Commentary by Dr. David Stern. In Christ’s day each rabbi had an interpretation of Torah or, a yoke. The way that you found out a rabbi’s yoke was by asking him, “Rabbi, what is the greatest command?” The rabbi almost always responded with the schema, or, Deuteronomy 6:4-5.

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

The problem, however, was how to rank the other commands after the greatest one, IE: what is the hierarchy of commands. Was sabbath law more important than loving your neighbor? Was cleanliness more important than keeping Kosher, and so on. Its not like any of the commands were bad, just that some commands were more important than others. The rabbis of Christ’s day differed on what the second greatest command was. One of them said that cleanliness was more important than loving your neighbor, because loving your neighbor was a way to help another human while being unclean was an affront to God, so when the two contradicted you chose cleanliness. As a side note, this is the same sort of comparing that Christ does when he is challenged because he heals on the Sabbath, and he asks if anyone would not save their livestock, even if it required work, on the Sabbath.

The other bit of information that you ought to know is that even when the rabbis agreed that loving your neighbor was the number two command, they often had radical disagreement on what the definition of neighbor was. The most conservative said that your neighbor was any religious Jew. The most liberal said that your neighbor was everyone except Samaritans. So, the scale went from religious Jew,  secular Jew, Semitic people, and finally gentiles. No one ever said you had to love a Samaritan as you love yourself. Samaritans are considered less than human because they are Jews who intermarried with pagans, they are an abomination according to the Jews of Jesus’ day. So, when Jesus is asked this question he begins with the Schema. Next, he states that the second greatest is loving your neighbor as you love yourself. He then proceeds to define neighbor by use of a parable, he tells the famous story of the good Samaritan. Now, the man who asks him this question is a pharisee, and so Jesus uses a story telling technique familiar to him. The story is set up so that a priest goes first. He passes by on the other side because to touch a dead body, or an almost dead body, would make him ceremoniously unclean, and to priests, the second greatest command was cleanliness. The Levite goes second. The Levite does the same thing, for the same reason. Now, in the traditional use of this story structure, a pharisee would come next and do the right thing, which is obviously what this Pharisee is expecting. Instead, along comes a Samaritan. Stop for a minute. A SAMARITAN!! That is outrageous. No one believes that Samaritans have any value. They aren’t even human. But Christ’s point is not that we should help men who have been beaten and robbed, but that even Samaritans are our neighbors.

So, what is the implication for loyalty to a specific country’s interests. The implication is that everyone is our neighbor. We have an obligation to love everyone, and not just pursue our self interest, or even just the self interest of our nation. We should pursue those things which help everyone, and we certainly should not pursue policy which, though it would help us, would harm other people. Remember, everyone is your neighbor. So, I think there is a moral discrepancy between being a Christian and being an American who supports pro-American policies despite their harmful effects on other people. In addition, you see this same radicalism in Christ throughout all of his teachings. We are to love and pray for our enemies; this means Osama. While I am an American and I am thankful that I was born into freedom and wealth, I am not somehow more obligated to serve the needs of America over the needs of the world because doing so would still be only pursuing our self interest, rather than running after God and doing his will. I should still submit to the governing authorities, but that does not mean patriotism or loyalty.

Finally, I wanted to share this video with you. It is by spoken word artist Steve Connell. He addresses our situation perfectly.

The War Prayer

A friend of mine recently posted this on his facebook. I think it is eminently relevant. It is a story written by Mark Twain.

It was a time of great and exalting excitement. The country was up in arms, the war was on, in every breast burned the holy fire of patriotism; the drums were beating, the bands playing, the toy pistols popping, the bunched firecrackers hissing and spluttering; on every hand and far down the receding and fading spread of roofs and balconies a fulttering wilderness of flags flashed in the sun; daily the young volunteers marched down the wide avenue gay and fine in their new uniforms, the proud fathers and mothers and sisters and sweethearts cheering them with voices choked with happy emotion as they swung by; nightly the packed mass meetings listened, panting, to patriot oratory with stirred the deepest deeps of their hearts, and which they interrupted at briefest intervals with cyclones of applause, the tears running down their cheeks the while; in the churches the pastors preached devotion to flag and country, and invoked the God of Battles beseeching His aid in our good cause in outpourings of fervid eloquence which moved every listener.

It was indeed a glad and gracious time, and the half dozen rash spirits that ventured to disapprove of the war and cast a doubt upon its righteousness straightway got such a stern and angry warning that for their personal safety’s sake they quickly shrank out of sight and offended no more in that way.

Sunday morning came — next day the battalions would leave for the front; the church was filled; the volunteers were there, their young faces alight with martial dreams — visions of the stern advance, the gathering momentum, the rushing charge, the flashing sabers, the flight of the foe, the tumult, the enveloping smoke, the fierce pursuit, the surrender!

Then home from the war, bronzed heroes, welcomed, adored, submerged in golden seas of glory! With the volunteers sat their dear ones, proud, happy, and envied by the neighbors and friends who had no sons and brothers to send forth to the field of honor, there to win for the flag, or, failing, die the noblest of noble deaths. The service proceeded; a war chapter from the Old Testament was read; the first prayer was said; it was followed by an organ burst that shook the building, and with one impulse the house rose, with glowing eyes and beating hearts, and poured out that tremendous invocation:

God the all-terrible! Thou who ordainest,
Thunder thy clarion and lightning thy sword!

Then came the “long” prayer. None could remember the like of it for passionate pleading and moving and beautiful language. The burden of its supplication was, that an ever-merciful and benignant Father of us all would watch over our noble young soldiers, and aid, comfort, and encourage them in their patriotic work; bless them, shield them in the day of battle and the hour of peril, bear them in His mighty hand, make them strong and confident, invincible in the bloody onset; help them crush the foe, grant to them and to their flag and country imperishable honor and glory –

An aged stranger entered and moved with slow and noiseless step up the main aisle, his eyes fixed upon the minister, his long body clothed in a robe that reached to his feet, his head bare, his white hair descending in a frothy cataract to his shoulders, his seamy face unnaturally pale, pale even to ghastliness. With all eyes following him and wondering, he made his silent way; without pausing, he ascended to the preacher’s side and stood there waiting. With shut lids the preacher, unconscious of his presence, continued his moving prayer, and at last finished it with the words, uttered in fervent appeal, “Bless our arms, grant us the victory, O Lord and God, Father and Protector of our land and flag!”

The stranger touched his arm, motioned him to step aside — which the startled minister did — and took his place. During some moments he surveyed the spellbound audience with solemn eyes, in which burned an uncanny light; then in a deep voice he said:

“I come from the Throne — bearing a message from Almighty God!” The words smote the house with a shock; if the stranger perceived it he gave no attention. “He has heard the prayer of His servant your shepherd, and will grant it if such be your desire after I, His messenger, shall have explained to you its import — that is to say, its full import. For it is like unto many of the prayers of men, in that it asks for more than he who utters it is aware of — excpet he pause and think. “God’s servant and yours has prayed his prayer. Has he paused and taken thought? Is it one prayer? No, it is two — one uttered, and the other not. Both have reached the ear of Him who heareth all supplications, the spoken and the unspoken. Ponder this — keep it in mind. If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon your neighbor at the same time. If you pray for the blessing of rain on your crop which needs it, by that act you are possibly praying for a curse on some neighbor’s crop which may not need rain and can be injured by it.

“You have heard your servant’s prayer — the uttered part of it. I am commissioned by God to put into words the other part of it — that part which the pastor — and also you in your hearts — fervently prayed silently. And ignorantly and unthinkingly? God grant that it was so! You heard the words ‘Grant us the victory, O Lord our God!’ That is sufficient. The whole of the uttered prayer is compact into those pregnant words. Elaborations were not necessary. When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victory — must follow it, cannot help but follow it. Upon the listening spirit of God fell also the unspoken part of the prayer. He commandeth me to put it into words. Listen!

“Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth into battle — be Thou near them! With them — in spirit — we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God, help us tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with their little children to wander unfriended in the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames in summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it –

For our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimmage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet!

We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.

(After a pause.) “Ye have prayed it; if ye still desire it, speak! The messenger of the Most High waits.”

…

It was believed afterward that the man was a lunatic, because there was no sense in what he said.

Will you jump jovially on this jocular journey with me?

A delight. Delectable.

A light. Adorable.

When the sunlight shines a straight shot into your eyes a sparkling, shifting ,stirring, soft sapphire shines back.

This significant sight manipulates my mind. It influences and enraptures my heart.

This influence which enraptures and entwines seems to be an infatuation. Maybe someday, one day, in the far flung star strung free and full future we will fall in love. But now, we are just starting a fun filled friendship freckled with a fun double dose of delightful, delectable, delicious, romance.

Breanne, beautiful brilliant Breanne. Will you jump jovially on this jocular journey with me?

Freedom In Christ

This is an Essay I wrote for English:

Freedom In Christ

The ability to reason, to think both critically and logically, and to therefore determine a course of action was trumpeted by both the Greeks and Milton as the expression of the divine. This ability to reason is what makes humans in the image of God. Humans are distinct from animals in that they can control their actions; humans are not constrained by instinct or the primal motivations which drive the natural world. This ability to reason presumes the ability to act on reason, or, to make choices. It is this idea of human liberty, being free to act on one’s choices, which finds its full expression in God’s doctrine of free will. God does not, in any way, hinder human or angelic choice. God would prefer that rational beings abide by his commands, and there are serious implications for not doing so, but he will never impose obedience on anyone, not even Satan. Satan’s conception of freedom is equality with God and glorification of the self, but Milton postulates that true freedom is making the choice to submit to God, doing otherwise finds oneself a slave to self and sin. This concept is epitomized in the true hero of the tale, Jesus Christ.

Satan is an archangel with great glory and great power. He is Lucifer, the morning star. Possessing such attributes it is no wonder that he grows proud of his own abilities and his own glory. Milton notes that Satan had “aspiring / To set himself in glory above his peers, / He trusted to have equaled the Most High” (ll. 38, 39, 40). Satan desired equality with God. This desire to equal God, to emulate him who sat on the throne of heaven, stems from a conception of freedom which contends that freedom is anarchy. If one is truly free, then one can do whatever one wants to do. Satan’s conception of freedom led to the conclusion that he could have anything he wanted, even the seat of Almighty God. God, however, did not condemn Satan nor restrict his actions. When the Son flew out over the battle, it was Satan and his angels who threw themselves from heaven into hell. Milton notes that

And High permission of all-ruling Heaven,

Left him at large to his own dark designs:

That with reiterated crimes he might

Heap on himself damnation. (ll. 212-215)

God allowed Satan to damn himself. Here it can be seen that not being a slave to God, one becomes a slave to oneself and the gratification of sinful desires. Satan is not truly free because Satan has become his own slave master.

It is with this concept of freedom that Satan enters the world to tempt Adam and Eve. Satan’s conversation with Eve betrays his concept of freedom, one that seems to also appeal to Eve. The serpent says, “Ye eat thereof, your eyes that seem so clear, / Yet are but dim, shall perfectly be then / Open’d and clear’d, and ye shall be as gods” (ll. 706, 707, 708). After eating the fruit, the change in the way Eve thinks is almost palpable. Rather than allow herself to die and Adam to live, or allow Adam another Eve, she concludes that, “Adam shall share with me in bliss or woe: / So dear I love him, that with him all deaths / I could endure, without him live no life” (ll. 831, 832, 833). Notice the way Eve is speaking to herself about her love for Adam. She would not be able to survive without him. Adam will share the fruit with her. This change is about her. She is thinking only about what will gratify her. The same is true when Adam takes the fruit and eats. His initial justification for eating the fruit is because he loves her so much and wants them to die together. However, he soon changes his tune to a justification just as selfish as hers. Adam states, “My own in thee, for what thou art is mine; / Our state cannot be sever’d, we are one, / One flesh; to lose thee were to lose myself” (ll. 957, 958, 959). He doesn’t want her to die alone, because doing so would cause him too much pain. Immediately following the fall, Adam and Eve become slaves to their passions. They become inflamed with lust for one another, and instead of nurturing the garden as was their charge, they destroy parts of it. Milton writes, “He led her nothing loath; flowers were the couch, / Pansies, and violets, and asphodel, / And hyacinth, earth’s freshest, softest lap” (ll. 1039, 1040, 1041). This lust for each other can have no good outcome, indeed they fall deeper and deeper into sin, following a similar path to what Satan followed early on the poem. Milton Continues,

There they their fill of love and love’s disport

Took largely, of their mutual guilt the seal,

The solace of their sin, till dewy sleep

Oppress’d them, wearied with their amorous play. (ll. 1042, 1043, 1044, 1045)

By attempting to be free in the satanic sense, they instead become slaves to themselves.

This concept of freedom is directly contrasted by the concept of freedom exemplified in Christ. Jesus Christ, from the beginning, knew, and consented to, the fact that he would be dying for the sins of humanity, because his father wished it. Christ was raised to equality with the Father precisely because he was willing to become a man and give up his glory. Consider Philippians chapter two. It reads that Jesus Christ

being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,  but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! (Philippians 2:5-8 NIV)

Compare this directly to the attitude of Satan. He considered equaling God a right of his. He figured, because of his power and might, because he was a free being, he ought to be able to equal God. Not even Jesus Christ, who is God, considered equality with God something to be strived for. Moreover, Jesus gladly submitted to being incarnated as a man, to having his power and might hidden. This is a direct contrast to Satan who considered incarnating himself as a snake a “foul descent” because he “who erst contended / With gods to sit in the highest, am now constrain’d / into a beast, and mixed with bestial slime” (ll. 163, 164, 165).

Moreover, Jesus Christ chose to die for the sins of the world. He chose death on a cross. He, in Paradise Lost, is the person of the trinity doing the judging in the Garden of Eden. It is precisely because he chose to obey the father that he gets to select the punishment for sin, and therefore suffer that punishment in the place of Adam and Eve. Compare Christ’s response to the falling away of his bride, the church, with the way Adam responds to the falling away of his bride, Eve. Remember, Adam chose to sin alongside Eve so that he would be able to avoid the pain of loss. Perhaps there was another way. Perhaps Adam could have stood in Eve’s place and taken her judgment on himself, thereby sacrificing himself for his bride. Indeed, it is this model that scripture sets up for husbands and wives.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (Ephesians 5:25-27 NIV)

American culture would probably say that the tale of Adam and Eve is a great romantic epic much akin to Romeo and Juliet. However, each of their actions betrayed grave sin and a desire to satisfy the self.

True freedom is not the satisfaction of the self at the expense of all else, true freedom is choosing to obey God and exist within the constraints of his love. True freedom is not anarchy, or freedom from constraint, true freedom is being free within the right constraints. For instance: A fish on dry land is technically free to do whatever it wants. It will not live, but it is free. However, if the fish were placed in the ocean, the fish would be able to do whatever it wanted, except go onto dry land, but in the ocean it would have the fullness of life. The metaphor is clear. The constraint for humans that allows true freedom is the constraint of obedience to God. The apostle Paul makes this clear when he writes, “Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?” (Romans 6:16 NIV). So, humans are either slaves to sin and death, Satan’s offspring, or humans are slaves to God. There is no freedom from constraint. Freedom from constraint is a lie perpetuated by Satan. Slavery to the tyranny of heaven is merely replaced with slavery to the tyranny of sin and death. The implication of obedience and true freedom in God is glorification,

Therefore God exalted [Jesus] to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2:9-11 NIV)

In the case of humanity, this glorification will be entry into heaven. It will be the ability to bask in the glory of God for all eternity. If we seek God, if we pursue God, if we obey God, and if we embrace Jesus Christ he will raise us up in bodies imperishable and “Just as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the man of heaven” (First Corinthians 15:49)

Trinity

there was a time

i dropped the rhyme

and stopped to find

three swirling lines

it caught my mind

these swirling lines

for from it shines

a grand design

these swirling lines

with each entwine

without decline

they intertwine

the first bright line

is for all time

begetting fine

the second line

both of these lines

are of one mind

so much entwined

they are combined

and yet I find

that the third line

proceeds through time

from both the lines

this grand design

captures my mind

forever shines

throughout all time

Thou Hast Been Summoned Into the Presence of The Most High

I am a messenger of the Most High.

Thou hast been summoned into the presence of the Most High, the maker of heaven and earth. The Lord of hosts has requested you specifically. Thou shalt enter his most holy presence and thou shalt throw thyself prostrate on the ground declaring unto the innumerable angelic host that thou art unworthy to enter the presence of the God of the universe, and thou shalt be right. For who is like unto him who is the ancient of days. He is the alpha and the omega, the first and the last. He is the one who is preeminent before all things, the author of all reality, the maker of being. And thou shalt want to bury thyself in the ground and cover thy face, for to be in his very presence is to entertain the thought of death. Thy soul shalt lie bared before the glorious throne of the Almighty, and a record of thy deeds shall be read forth in the presence of the angelic host and all the saints. Inasmuch as thou art human and thou art therefore utterly depraved, thou shalt surely be condemned by he who sits on the throne and judges justly for all time. In the declaration of thy guilt thou shalt, with all thy senses, detect thine own doom. The weight of thine own sin will crash upon thy soul like a wine press upon grapes. Thou shalt despair. And then HE will enter. He is messiah, the son of the living God. He is the prince of peace. He is the great counselor. He is the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. Hark! Here is thy savior. He propitiates the wrath of God. The cup of God’s wrath was pored solely on him, and he suffered in thy place. He is thy substitute. Thou hast been condemned to death by manner of crucifixion. But, in thy hour of need, when thy sin was the greatest, when the sun darkened and the ground shook, when death hung heavy in the air and wicked men rejoiced and exulted in their sin and heaped damnation on themselves, when the adversary of both God and man proclaimed his triumph and all creation shuddered in fear of his tyranny, Jesus Christ, messiah, savior of the world, placed himself in the position of humanity and it was God’s good pleasure to annihilate him. Unto himself he took thy sins. Thou hast been made new. Made clean, redeemed, and saved. Thou art a new creation and thou hast been committed to God’s care. Thou art no longer thy own for thou hast been ransomed at a price. Thou hast been called to a life of service to thy king, for he hast redeemed thou and expiated thy sin. He hast empowered you through the intercession of his spirit which thou hast received at thy baptism to be made perfect and holy.

Thou hast been summoned in to the presence of the Most High. The Almighty awaits you. Prepare thyself. Anoint thy head with oil and declare the gospel of the crucified Christ. Thou hast been commissioned on this earth to serve thy God through great deeds which bring glory to him alone. He hast equipped thy person with all manner of gifts to complete thy mission.

Thou hast been summoned into the presence of the Most High. Thou shalt enter his courts and thou shalt render worship unto thy God. Though hast been redeemed by the crucified Christ, and he shalt appear at the right hand of his father. The spirit that dwells inside of thy body and is wrapped around thy soul shalt intercede on thy behalf with groaning that cannot be understood except by the Most High. These three, who art united in essence yet distinct in person, shalt gaze upon you. And thou, in thy soul and with thy ears, shalt hear the one God who is three, yet who is not three Gods but one, declare the words unto thou, a son of Adam, “Well done my good and faithful servant, take thy place with all the saints, we have raised you up imperishable for all time.” And thou shalt be silent except for weeping for thou, a creation of the Father has been redeemed by the blood of the Son, through the power of the Spirit.

Thou hast been summoned into the presence of the Most High. Go forth now, for surely he is with you even unto the end of the age.

Thou Hast Been Summoned. What is thy response. The messenger of the Most High waits.

Its the “New” Year

What I did in 2008. Yes, I stole this from Drew’s 2007 version.

Went to Sing Song-Almost blew up a car with a bottle rocket-was hired-was fired-spent two weeks in Honduras on a ranch-graduated High School-started a blog-ended a blog-started another blog-purchased a laptop-started experimenting with spoken word poetry-went to college-moved into a dormitory-shared a room with someone (for an extended period of time) for the first time since I was four-went on a cruise-rode on the back of a dolphin-kissed a stingray-met Breanne-was falsely charged with an integrity violation by judicial affairs at ACU-had that false charge dropped-confirmed the identity of my best friend-made a bunch of new friends-learned how to calculate where the moon is at any given moment-started dating for the first time by dating Breanne-watched Crash with Dr. Moore and my Cornerstone class-voted for Barack Hussein Obama-slept on the floor of a dorm room at OC-became addicted to House-participated in civil disobedience against the administration of Dulles High School-was cast in the play The Venomous Jones-completed fifteen coerced “volunteer” hours-experienced the joy of compulsory chapel-drove a pick-up truck for the first time-became a member of Beltway Park Baptist Church-became a fan of country music-turned 18 years old-went to three ACU football games-went on a road trip to Oklahoma-wrote poetry directed at a specific person for the first time-wirelessly networked my house-started using a molsekine journal and calendar-grew sideburns-experienced Randy Harris for the first time-screamed purple white purple white fight fight fight for the first time-put off writing this until 2009.

A New version of Stagnation

A new year implies novelty.

Unless there is novelty, your year is old.

Time is cyclical, it isn’t new.

Forward progression is not inherent.

Unless you move yourself forward,

You will remain stationary.

The earth rotates, it revolves.

It does not follow a linear path.

If you do nothing at all,

You will standstill and rotate.

You must compel yourself to action.

Only then is there forward progression.

This is my favorite song from 2008

Oh Lord my God my soul to you I will

The instinctual response is frustration.

When desire goes unsatisfied,

When self fails to be gratified,

Then my soul screams in frustration.

Batter my heart three-person’d God*.

In you alone I ought to seek pleasure.

But far more tangible is earthly treasure;

It beckons to me and to it I plod.

I am the horse; sin is the carrot.

It dangles in front, but never fills.

Oh Lord my God my soul to you I will,

But its your wrath at sin I merit.

GRAB ME! FORCE ME! TAKE ME! MAKE ME YOURS AND YOURS ALONE!

*John Donne “Holy Sonnet 14″

The Blood of the Lamb

The Blood of the Lamb collects in a Pool.

The life-giving blood of the Lamb does not drip, it gushes.

A frothy spray of bright red blood spews from the Lamb.

It collects in a pool.

Violently taken, no not from him,

Violently given by the Lamb.

His life force collects in a pool.

The Lamb’ s body has been raised up imperishable.

The Lamb was dead; that is no more.

The Lamb is alive and he stands alive as if he was slain.

Next to the crucified Lamb is a pool of His blood.

The life-giving blood of the Lamb.

The Lamb speaks:

“Come into the pool. Cover yourself in my blood.

Come, see, the life substance, my blood,

Which has collected in this pool.

Cover yourself in it. Wash yourself in it.

Do not hesitate, this blood will cleanse you.

You will be cleansed from all unrighteousness.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock.*

Any who hears my voice will say come.

And the Spirit and the Bride say come.

Let the one who hears say come.

And let the one who is thirsty say come.

And let the one who desires take the water of life without price,**

For this is my blood. I have paid the price.

Behold! My blood collects in this pool.

I have appeased the wrath of God;

You may take the living water without price.

Jump into my blood. Splash around in my blood.

You will be cleansed. You will inherit life without price,

For I stand in your place. Wash yourself and be cleansed,

For I am the gift of life.

Behold! I stand at the door and knock.*

He who hears my voice will answer, and surely I am with him

Even unto the end of the age.***

This is my blood, given for you. It collects in this pool.

Become clean. Wash yourself. You are white as snow.”

These are they who have come out of the great tribulation;

They have washed their robes and made them white

In the blood of the Lamb. They are before the throne of God

And serve him day and night in his temple.****

Amen.

*Revelation 3:20

**Revelation 22:17

***Matthew 28:20

****Revelation 7:14-15

Consuming Fire

A single flame illuminates the darkness. It wavers; it flickers; the slightest breath of air seems able to snuff it out. Yet it remains. It holds fast to its position. It continues to burn. It continues to illuminate the darkness such as it can. This flame is comfortable; it is consistent. It does not turn its surroundings into a conflagration, nor does its flame waver and die; it maintains itself in perpetual consistency. This is comforting. It soothes the mind and the soul. This is its great problem. It does not strive for greatness; it is content with the status quo. In this you find comfort. In this maintenance of the norm, you have faith.

A bonfire which burns one hundred feet into the air and illuminates for miles around is far more desirable. It is a danger; it may consume its surroundings, but tongues of flame dance before the stars in all their glorious power. Light exudes in such quantity and ferocity that these selfsame stars look on in jealous rage with the knowledge that their cold fire cannot match the unmeasured heat of the swirling inferno.

Walk towards this fire. Gazing at it may hurt your eyes. Getting near may blister your skin. But, in the heat of majestic glory, when all other lights fail, when darkness falls and you perceive your soul and scream in horror at the evil within, when in your despair  you forsake all hope, all faith, and all love, turn to the fire and be burned. In the light of the fire, the darkness will retreat. Through your baptism of flame you will emerge as tempered steel, made strong for good works and prepared for unending glory.

A single flame illuminates the darkness; the glorious and majestic power of eternally enduring flame eliminates the darkness. In this find the difference. In this find the comparison. Come. Approach. Give yourself to the flames. Our God is a consuming fire.

Amen.

Yeshua HaMashiach

In my sorrow. In my apathy.

In my pain. In my indifference.

I have no qualms about rejecting you.

When I stand frozen and naked

In the ice of the deadliest

Winter my soul has ever known;

When, with all my being all I can muster

After months of screaming is

An incoherent, inaudible groan;

When despair has overthrown me

And my life raises up before me

As a pathetic testament to the power

Of human reason and ability;

When my eyes close;

When my legs collapse;

When I am shriveled beyond

Recognition as an image bearer of GOD;

When, through the folly of Adam,

I have been reduced to the basest creature.

Then, I have no qualms about rejecting you.

It is then that I cry, without breath

For I have been robbed of that,

ELOI ELOI LEMA SABACTHANI.

With the last vestiges of my will,

I demand of you an answer. It is then

That I have no qualms about rejecting you,

But my rejection of you is merely

My rejection of you verbalized.

When life is good; When all my

Desires and all my needs are met;

When I am surrounded by family and

Blessed with good things unending;

When with great vigor and greater

Desire I achieve good things through the

Force of my will and the power of my voice;

When, in control, I lack nothing

And desire only myself. Then;

I have no qualms about rejecting you.

It is then that I proclaim, with thunder

Of my own making, that I AM God;

I will worship no other gods before me.

I choose to reject you, but this

Rejection is the rejection which begins

In the Heart. It is then that you demand of me:

BAREE BAREE LEMA SABACTHANI

In my apathy, I ignore your piercing cry.

So, when cold and naked;

When filled with deadly hate;

I demand you show yourself to me.

You do. In Yeshua HaMashiach you do.

Barukh attah Adonai eloheinu melekh ha-olam,

asher natan lau et derekh ha-yeshuah

hamashiach Yeshua, barukh hu. Amein.***

*My God My God, why have you forsaken me?

**My son My son, why have you forsaken me?

***Blessed are you, LORD our God, King of the universe, Who gave to us the way of salvation through the Messiah Jesus, blessed be He. Amen.

Purple State of Mind

I am sorry that I am just getting around to posting this, but it will still be good. I wrote this as an essay for a class. Enjoy:

Several weeks ago the film Purple State of Mind came to ACU’s campus. The film was a series of twenty minute cuts of four different conversations between two men who had been roommates in college. One of the men, Craig Detweiler, became a Christian in college and went on to receive his masters of Divinity, his masters of fine arts in film, and a doctorate in theology and culture from Fuller Theological Seminary. The other man, John Marks, lost his faith in college and went on to graduate from the Iowa writer’s workshop. He worked as an international correspondent for US News and World Report as well as a producer for 60 Minutes. Marks is now supported solely on the basis of his books. I listened to Detweiler and Marks lecture, I saw the film, and I walked away disappointed and disillusioned.

The very title of the film indicates a presupposition that I have to disagree with. Purple is the melding of red and blue into a single color. The intent, according to the blurb on the banner of the website, is to find “common ground.” What a silly thing to strive for. In these conversations Detweiler is supposed to be the Christian advocating the Truth of Jesus Christ as articulated in the Scriptures while Marks is obviously the unbeliever who is not so much advocating a coherent system as he is attempting to poke holes in the system of Christianity. Marks may be genuinely searching for common ground, and indeed he does come off as incredibly genuine and searching for truth, but it is logically fallacious to think that he can find the common ground between Christianity and the questioning of the basic suppositions of Christianity, which is what his position essentially amounts to.

At the same time, it makes little sense for Detweiler to be searching for common ground with anyone who is not a Christian. By its very nature, Christianity claims things which cannot be compromised with. The gospel is that Christ suffered in our place the wrath of God at our sin, and so he died both physically and spiritually, but God with great power resurrected His son and restored him to life, thus destroying sin, death, and the power of Satan. Having destroyed sin, death, and Satan God has washed me clean. Through faith in Christ I choose to allow God to transform me into the likeness of Jesus Christ, who was perfect, and so I too eventually become perfect through the process of progressive sanctification. Having been made perfect I can enter into eternal relationship with God. Among the things which cannot be compromised is that the purpose of Christ was to save us from sin, that Christ is the only way to save us from sin, that without Christ men stand before God condemned to eternal conscious torment in hell, and that to be a true Christian is to eventually be transformed into the likeness of Jesus Christ which means loving God with my heart, soul, mind, and strength and loving my neighbor as I love myself.

Anything else is not the gospel. Any compromise with the views of this world results in a corrupted Gospel. I spoke with Detweiler after the film because I desired to get at the heart of what he actually believed. Besides dancing around the issues in the video and refusing to give a straight answer, he said some things about the gospel which made me question the validity of his views. In the question and answer session someone pointed out that he seemed to be a new kind of Christian; he evaded the question by stating that he did not want to engage in an “in-house” fight when we ought to be reaching the lost, and that we all could probably agree on the three essentials of being a Christian. It was my intention to press him on what the essentials actually are when I spoke with him after the film was over. When I asked him what they are he responded with, “Well, probably loving people, being in community, and caring for the marginalized.” I was shocked. That is not the gospel. Where is Jesus in this equation? If these are the big three then why do I even need to discuss Jesus? Why can I not just do these on my own?

Detweiler missed the point of Christianity. He missed the gospel. He has substituted the cure to the depravity of man, the cross of Christ which is folly to many, for something which can give minor aid to alleviating some of the symptoms, that is, love, community, and caring. The problem could not be stated more clearly than this: This gospel, that the world will be better when we just love each other more, is a Christ-less gospel. If I love other people because love is just a good thing, then I am nothing more than a secular humanist. However, if my reason for loving people is because Jesus Christ first loved me and that the expression of that love is the blood of almighty God dripping down the cross to the dust at his feet, if the love of Christ compels me to act, if my love is merely an attempt to emulate God whose love will restore all of creation to its pre-fallen state, then the reason that I love is not void and empty, then my love has such great power that, through Christ, the world will be unable to not respond to the Gospel. Why Detweiler’s message had absolutely no effect on Marks is precisely because his message is not the message of Christ. Detweiler would make Christ forever a marginalized Galilean peasant who was our great example, but Detweiler completely misses the godhood of Jesus Christ, that Christ

is before all things, and in him all things hold together…He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross (Colossians 1:16-20).

Detweiler’s gospel does not reach people like Marks because it has overly compromised the power of the cross and the deity of Christ for something the world can understand, a marginalized teacher who taught how to be a good person. This is why the idea of a Purple State of Mind is so ludicrous. It compromises what ought not be compromised. It sacrifices THE TRUTH for the sake of a conversation. This is intolerable.

There is no Middle Ground

turn. look. where? what? there. now approaching. now running. what? i dont understand. who said you would? pay attention. life. depends. hangs in the balance. i will speak. i will proclaim. there is no shame. stay your course. you are stopped. no. look. release me. you will listen. you will stop. i will listen. i will not stop. let us discuss. rationality. intellectualism. turning. disgusted. bull shit. restraint tightens. i will advance. there is no shame. listen. speak. there is no middle ground. choose now. refusal? your choice is made. listen to reason. you hear reason? 1 and 2 then three. 4 and 4 then 8. best for me. salvation. the logician has spoken. i hear. i ignore. join me or leave me. do not hinder. why? logician huh? your power? divine logos? who? what? yes. standing true. now and now and now. turn back. too late. hello sir. story time. have you journeyed? desire rest? leave it alone. back up and off. stow your reason. remove your voice. not you sir. please speak. not your voice. unnecessary. i see your speech. will you proclaim? are you shamed? silence. continued silence. i’ve had enough. i am transformed. I WILL PROCLAIM! THERE IS NO SHAME! i submit. you are submitted. i will control. do not fear. i will guide. is he gone? did you destroy? he is gone. conquered. slain. you are raised. alive. forever. love unceasing. love unceasing. service. well done. faithful service. good servant. well done. be seated. brethren. this is he. the one i was just speaking of.

Dust of World

I am a servant kneeling at the feet of my master. He is LORD; I am nothing. Nothing I am. What is this? He kneels before me? That cannot be. What is He doing? He is everything; I am nothing. I demand Him, with all the arrogance of one who’s view of the world is absolutely correct, His purpose in kneeling before me. His kneeling does does not fit the proper order of things. It is an anomaly. It should not happen. He answers that it is His intention to wash my feet. Flabbergasted. Stunned. Unable to think. Unable to run. Unable to speak. Unable to cry. Unable to laugh derisively in arrogant pride. I begin to stutter, then finally I speak. I pronounce judgment: “I am a meek, humble, lowly, crawling, writing worm. You have no business washing my feet. YOU WILL NEVER WASH MY FEET!

He recoils, hurt. The look says it all. I see myself mirrored in His eyes, having dictated in arrogant pride the conditions under which He must operate. Then it hits me. I just ordered the LORD to not do something. My speech attempted to constrain His action. Chaos. Absolute Chaos. The order has been upset. Hierarchy is crashing down. Great, just great. Not only did He kneel before me, but I gave him a command. In my effort to recognize His power and sovereignty, even though He was intentionally debasing Himself. I attempted to usurp His authority. As if that look He gave me was not enough, He opens His mouth to speak. What will He say? Hopefully something like, “It’s ok, I understand your reluctance, we can take care of this when you feel up to it.” But, probably, He will give a sharp rebuke. I cringe at some of the things He has said before. “Will you also leave me?” “Get behind me Satan!” “You of little faith, why do you doubt?” Worse than these. Far worse than these. He says, “Unless I wash your feet, you have no share with me.”

Immediately, without hesitation, I issue another order. “Not only my feet, but my hands as well.” If I am getting my feet washed in order to be with my LORD, then a whole bath would be even better. This time He does give me the glance which mirrors my soul, this time He glances at me bemused. Then, becoming serious, He says the most encouraging and edifying thing that it is possible for Him to say, “If you have already bathed, then all that needs washing is your feet.” Mind reeling. Already bathed? I am clean. Washed. White as snow. The washing now is just a touch-up job.

I must let Christ wash me daily, not the atoning washing of His work on the cross, that already happened. But daily, confessing my sins and being cleansed, because I have been grafted into the family.

Submit. I submit. Do you? Really? You sin. Daily I am cleansed. Daily. Daily. Christ washes my feet daily. The dust of the world that sticks to my feet from my journey in the world is taken by Christ and dissolved in his cleansing water.