Welcome to Thankful Tuesday!
On Saturday, we moved in with Amanda’s parents. This is a temporary measure (we will be buying a house after the first of the year but before the next baby comes) that will allow us to save some more money and to take our time looking for a house. We have been amazingly and graciously given a bedroom for us, a bedroom for Ellie, and a bedroom that we have converted to a living room. And as Amanda said a couple of nights ago, it’s amazing how little space we actually need.
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Anyhow, I am sitting this morning in my borrowed living room. Everyone else is still asleep and I, for a time, have quiet. I love the mornings. I love the morning light as it slowly emerges, sneaking under doors and over blinds. I love the quiet and the stillness, the waiting and the expectation.
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I’ve been anxious the last two days because of the change. Transition is not something I do well, and I feel like I do it less and less well as time goes on. As a guy for whom order is one of the primary sources of spiritual nourishment, I find that disorder in my outer world disrupts order in my inner world. It’s like when the big pieces–the house, the job, etc–are in flux, I grasp tighter at the little pieces. I close my fist more tightly over what I can control (like doing the dishes, closing the drawers in our dresser, having ME time) and ungraciously lack flexibility in the small things.
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But as the dawn slowly emerges, I have proof that the world turns as she has always turned. As the caffeine hits and as I grab my bags and walk out to my car and listen to Morning Edition on my commute, I am reminded that my life keeps going too. And that especially in periods of change and transition, when my anxiety (and the associated intrusive thoughts) flares up, I am to bear down on love.
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And so, for marvelous in-laws who share their home, and for mornings (and the God who makes them) that never fail, I am thankful today.